Nifty Ways to Hack Your Day

Time management strategies for the woman who does it all

Spring has sprung, mask mandates have been lifted and the free time we once had is no more. Our lives have reverted to jammed packed schedules and we have become consumed with after athletic practices, PTO meetings, school performances, open house, commutes to weekend scrimmages (you get the picture). And while you are surviving on iced coffees and four hours of sleep, there always seems to be that one friend who seems to manage it all seamlessly. You know the one; her kids are impeccably dressed, she makes breakfast for her family every morning, she makes it to work early, she prepares dinner, serves in her church and community, and still finds time to craft, blog, and find some odd entrepreneurial way to establish a supplemental income, not even the pandemic could slow her down. And while you love her, and admire all that she does, you can’t help feeling like a slovenly sloth in comparison.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned not to compare myself to others (as much), but I am curious about the behaviors of successful women. I’m lucky if I can manage a quiet moment to myself before 10:00 pm, so how can I possibly conquer all the goals and tasks I’ve assigned to myself? The key is quite simple…TIME MANAGEMENT. After much thought I’ve come up with my five hacks for effective time management that have helped me, here’s hoping they help you too. 

1. BUY A PLANNER

Yeah I know, planners are so 1999; but seriously if you use them they work, and planners have made a comeback in a major way. Many planners come equipped with a budget tracker, affirmations, scriptures or goal setting pages. If that sounds too intimidating fret not, a dollar store planner will work too, they’re great for jotting down appointments and meetings. Studies have also shown that planners are a great organizational tool for those with Adult ADD.

2. PLAN AHEAD WEEKLY

Yes that’s right, “weekly”. Making a to-do list is essential to completing everyday monotonous tasks. I cannot tell you how many doctor’s appointments have gone overdue all because I thought I would remember to make the phone call. You’re already preoccupied enough throughout the day, and by the time you remember to set your appointments you’re three months past due for your pap smear. Making a list and checking it twice will ensure that you get the little things done. For me nighttime is the perfect time to draft my list. I find a nice comfortable quiet place in the house, pour myself a glass of wine, and cozy up on the sofa with my legal pad and planner. You high tech individuals can feel free to use your smart phones or Google calendars.  A simple “Hey Siri” or “Okay Google” can get you started. 

3. PUT YOUR PHONES DOWN

Remember the good old days when all your phone could do was make phone calls? We waste countless hours mindlessly rummaging through the mass amounts of apps and social media on our cell phones. One quick “double tap” turns into 2 hours of replying, liking, and screenshots of memes that you will never use. Lately I’ve taken up the practice of not visiting any social media sites until 6 pm. I will admit it hasn’t been easy (I fell off the wagon today) but when I stick to the plan I find that I get so much more accomplished. The first day I started I actually read the newspaper, how retro.

4. SET REALISTIC GOALS

We often get swept away with the idea of being all that we can be. We want to be the absolute best employees, wives, and mothers,  giving everyone 100% of ourselves and making sure no one goes without. STOP DOING THAT! No one can do it all. If you’ve never ran a mile in your life, don’t think you’re going to get up and do it tomorrow. Instead start with a 30 minute walk and over time work your way up to the run.

And most importantly…

5. GO TO BED EARLY

We all know the saying, “Early to bed, early to rise.” Adequate rest not only ensures you’ll wake up more energized and refreshed, it’s also great for cell regeneration (that means less wrinkles ladies).

Keep in mind these are just my best practices, little hacks that I’ve incorporated into my day. And although I may not be the time management maven I aspire to be yet, if I’m disciplined and stick to my time management plan I will be.

A goal without a plan is just a wish.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery
French writer (1900 – 1944)   
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Embracing New Beginnings

The Power of Year 8

A few months ago I was listening to a sermon by Bishop T.D. Jakes. In this sermon he said, “Seven is the number of completion, but eight is the number of new beginnings.” Those words resonated with me. Immediately I was drawn to my divorce however I’ve only been divorced four and a half years.

I grew disheartened. I so wanted a new beginning. I mean, I’ve moved to the other side of the country, I want my life to catapult into a new direction.

Weeks go by and still nothing life changing happens. I go out, take some pics, post them to Facebook, to which my mother comments. “This is year eight.” I pause, but keep scrolling. After all, it’s late, and maybe I didn’t read the post correctly. I decide I’ll check in the morning. Morning comes and I can’t find her comment. Did I hallucinate it all? Another week goes by, I post another pic, here comes my mama again, “This is year eight!” Finally I called her and asked why she kept leaving that comment. She replies matter of fact, “Because this is your year of new beginnings.” After that conversation I decided to do some more math. Eight years ago it was the year 2014, the worst year of my life. The year my marriage fell completely apart, the year I contemplated suicide. Eight years ago I was the most broken I’ve ever been. 2022 is my new beginning.

2022 is the year that I have started to forgive- I mean truly forgive. My battles with my ex-husband are far from over but I have chosen to forgive rather than hate. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done, but harboring hatred and hurt doesn’t improve the situation. In addition to moving across the country, I’m also deepening my relationship with God, and stepping out more in faith. Trust me eight years ago I was not so forthcoming with information about my beliefs or the details of my life.

I want to leave you with this.

“On that very day Noah and his sons, Shem, Ham and Japheth, together with his wife and the wives of his three sons entered the ark.”

Genesis 7:13 (NIV)

God saved eight people on the ark to start a new beginning. If you are reading this, you too were saved. What will you do with your new beginning? What will you do with year eight?

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5 Ways to Truly Be Happy for Others

No matter where we are in our own personal journey, we must always remember to build each other up. Celebrating others not only strengthens bonds, but it’s also improves your physical and mental health. I’m sharing with you 5 ways to truly be happy for others.

1. Give a helping hand.

Sharing in the joy of others is a great way to bond and build memories with those closest to you.

2. Set/focus on your own goals.

When you are busy watering your own garden you’re less inclined to be worried about what the next person is doing.

3. Celebrate with them.

Research shows that celebrating releases dopamine and endorphins (you know biology’s feel-good chemicals). Celebrating also reduces unhealthy levels of cortisol which can lead to stress related illnesses.

4. Buy a gift to commemorate the occasion.

I’m about to take ya’ll to church with this one. According to the Bible in Acts 20:35 it was Jesus Christ himself who said…

“It’s more blessed to give than to receive.”

Acts 20:35 NIV

5. Take yourself out of the equation. Don’t compare their accomplishment to the lack of your own.

Stop beating yourself up. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 tells us that there is a time for everything. Verse 11 goes on to tell us “He has made everything beautiful in its time.”

Sis your time to shine will come, and just how you poured your happiness into others, they will do the same for you.

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When Friendships Fade

Not long ago I lost a friendship of over 20 years. In a disagreement (which took place via social media) I was told that I thought I was better than everyone because I had “a little popularity.” You see I had just published my novel and I’d also been fortunate enough to have a few speaking  engagements. These were things I was extremely proud of because I had worked very hard on my book; and public speaking is one of my dreams. I’d accomplished my goals and the person whom I’d expected to be the happiest for me wasn’t. Her comment took me by surprise, however in hindsight I realized that this “friend” never supported my endeavors. They didn’t order a book or share it on social media. Heck I don’t even recall receiving a congratulatory text. We’d been friends since the 10th grade. We’d shared all of our hopes and dreams, so I didn’t understand why she wasn’t happy for me. 

I shared the situation with another close friend and without a thought she replied, “Well that isn’t surprising, she’s been jealous of you as long as I’ve known her.” Now this other friend hadn’t known her for more than 4-5 years, and yet she could see what I hadn’t seen half of my life! I was angry about the situation for a while, however, the more I thought about it the more I felt sad for her. We grew up together, both coming into womanhood at the same time, yet she had struggles that I did not have. Obstacles that I’d overcome, and I can imagine that may have been frustrating for her, and perhaps my sense of pride and accomplishment was a trigger for her, a reminder of what she felt she lacked.

Looking back at the argument, I wish she’d talked to me…told me how she felt from the very beginning; not bottle it up for years, and allow it to explode on social media. It’s funny how we fight for relationships, yet let friendships die. We hide our hurts and offensives from our friends, and then blow up on them for something they didn’t even know they’d done. We do not all experience life at the same pace, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that anyone is less than. It just means it isn’t your time. We have to learn to shift the focus off ourselves and learn how to be happy…truly happy…for others. Especially for those we call friend.

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